The day started out with me being furious at mother for fucking with my head… again.
Basically my mum blamed my aunt for giving her the impression that Grandad was hurt and upset (See this post) which I know couldn’t be true because my aunt had said thanks for standing up for her, I was livid! I eventually let her off the hook though, but it sent just sent me on a proper down… I sent a rude email to a potential client and had to apologised to him, then started getting really depressed again, I just wanted to die. It seemed the most easiest conclusion, and one which would stop the depression permanently. I started to google search “how to kill yourself” & “how to kill yourself painlessly” I considered (as I have on many occasions) hiring a hitman, but then I don’t know any dodgy people. Aside from my family lol.