Category Archives: Diary

How it started… Friday 12th June 2015

After standing up to my girlfriend and her finally admitting I was right and she had been a real pain in the arse, I went to my friends party, after standing chatting for a while, she asked me “hows it going” I just broke down into tears, so much that I had to go upstair into another room, I had been fighting the urge to commit suicide as I was so depressed and was at the end of my tether.

I sat in her room and bawled my eyes out, I had reached a point where I seriously wanted to stop living as I was finding it so hard to fight the depression. I had the thought up in their spare room…”What if something really did actually happen to me as a child” and I just couldn’t stop crying for hours. It was soo painful and i kept thinking and crying “WHAT HAPPENED”?

I messaged my friend who I had supported in her court battle against her pedo family member who abused her and told her I thought something had happened. I also spoke to my friend who’s house I was at about it after I had calmed down.

I needed to find out what happened, something had happened when I was younger, I don’t know what but I know something happened, and I HAVE to find out what! As I can’t keep living like this… SOMETHING HAPPENED!

Saturday 13th June 2015

My Granddad is in a care home, and I’m going through old documents in his house and finding some really strange things about him being a Freemason and connections with the Clan Hay, the Royal Family and the B.B.C.

So I decide to do some background research on the internet about Freemasonry. The sites I’m coming across all say the same thing… That there is a Satanic theme going on throughout the higher ranks of the freemasons and there is also a lot of links to Nazi Mind Control, Germany, Aleister Crowley & Satanic Ritual Abuse.

So to check if it was really true, I decide to challenge my Granddad on some of his behaviour. As my mother and my auntie have been sorting out my Granddads affairs and sorting out his life (He was put in a care home by the doctor a few weeks earlier) Granddad kept giving mum and my aunt a hard time and going nuts at them for him being there (in the care home) I decided to stand up for them both, so, I went to visit him and challenged my Granddad on his behaviour. I told him clearly that he owes them an apology and a thank you. He kept on whining and complaining about his life. I told him he was just full of self pity and that he’s pathetic, because while everyone is waiting on him hand and foot he keeps having a go at the people who are going nuts trying to help him.

A few days later, my aunt came to my Granddad’s while I was there and said thank you to me for standing up to Granddad and she also backed up what I said by saying ‘yes you were being unfair’ etc. This is the reaction I expected, when you stand up to a bully you get backed up from the people on the receiving end.

My Mum however when I saw her on Wednesday 17th came straight up to me and said “You hurt and upset Granddad” now correct me if Im wrong but my standing up to him for her was a favour to prevent bullying. So mother just invalidated what I did, and tried to instil guilt and shame in me. This to my mind is very suspect behaviour but very usual from her, and it is leading me to remember more about how things were growing up.

Monday 15th June 2015

Sitting in the living room at Granddads and the phone rings. When I answer a woman said she was an ‘old friend’ of Granddads and that she had heard he was now in a care home and wanted to pay him a visit. Granddad was due to leave the care home on Wednesday to come back to his home. I asked for her name and she told it’s Sandra Garner and they also had a mutual friend Julie Ball.

So I checked this out on google… and found her husbands name Alan R Garner

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Search results for Alan Garner Essex freemason – It’s clear the the old freemason saying “Birds of a feather, flock together” stands firm.

16th June 2015

After doing a lot of research, I decided as my Job in POP Telecom had started to deteriorate and my responsibilities were being taken away, I thought something funny was up, so I started to research my employers. The family i work for also own a Horse Racing Syndicate company, and also a logistic company for moving horses around newmarket. The new ops manager had just come back after leaving prison. I’m getting very uncomfortable.

I did some research in to their names and cross referenced “freemason” in the search terms.

Turns out theres lots of freemason connections in Ireland for their name. I get the distinct impression that they are purposefully wasting my time after promising that I’d be running the website, Im now not doing anything that was promised when I started. I get very annoyed and quit. I have a meeting with Roy (which I recorded) and I leave.

Name: Curran


Thursday 18th June 2015

Sitting in the games room in Granddad’s around lunchtime. Granddad sits beside me and we start chatting. I casually ask him about the work he used to do at the Houses of Parliament. So he tells me that before the automation of transcribing the parlimetary debates in the House of Commons and the House of Lords there used to be people called “Hansards”* who recorded everything in transcript.

Granddad owned the contract for supplying the houses of parliament with Hansards.

His companies were Burnell Berau, Direct Calculating & Odd Investments, which among other things owned property in Barbados and Westminster. The company was based opposite Goodmayes Station.

So I asked him did he supply staff to any other big organisations, and he said he also supplied sugar giants Tate & Lyle – The previous MD was Charles E.L. Lyle who was a member of the Bishop of Barking Masonic Lodge 3050 –

He also said he supplied the Ford Motor Company with staff. Ford being well documented for his links with the Freemasons & the Nazis

Palestine Lodge No. 357, Detroit, MI
Member: Zion Lodge No. 1

So given that his recruitment company was tied in with the masonic industrial giants of the 1950s, 60s & 70s (Tate & Lyle & Ford) as well as the British Government within the walls of Parliament. And Masonic “Birds of a Feather, Flock Together” it makes me wonder… How high up in the Freemason fraternity would someone have to be in order to be trusted with the entire flow of information in the House of Commons and House of Lords?

*Hansard is the traditional name of the transcripts of Parliamentary Debates in Britain and many Commonwealth countries. It is named after Thomas Curson Hansard (1776–1833), a London printer and publisher, who was the first official printer to the parliament at Westminster.

Monday 22rd June 2015

The day started out with me being furious at mother for fucking with my head… again.

Basically my mum blamed my aunt for giving her the impression that Grandad was hurt and upset (See this post) which I know couldn’t be true because my aunt had said thanks for standing up for her, I was livid! I eventually let her off the hook though, but it sent just sent me on a proper down… I sent a rude email to a potential client and had to apologised to him, then started getting really depressed again, I just wanted to die. It seemed the most easiest conclusion, and one which would stop the depression permanently. I started to google search “how to kill yourself” & “how to kill yourself painlessly” I considered (as I have on many occasions) hiring a hitman, but then I don’t know any dodgy people. Aside from my family lol.

Death Threat

Saturday 27th June 2015

Ok So after seeing some very strange behaviour between my Granddad and Adrian and Graham (my relatives) I relaised there is a whole masonic language which includes certain postures and gestures.

But they keep referring back to times and places in the Caribbean & school with references to “burning things at the bottom” of the garden. It’s soo subtle!

Sunday 28th June 2015

I start to understand the sentiment in the language. And decide to try it out with Granddad. It’s not what you say it’s just the implications of the conversation, such as, when my granddad was getting the impression that I didn’t like what he was revealing to me he would comment on the  like “Oooh, I don’t like the look of the wether, seems a little cold today” meaning I wasn’t confirming or being warm to his persuasion.

So I pretend to go along with his hooks for masonic conversation. He puts some positive references forward to Germany, Blue (a masonic colour), The Pair of birds statue, (birds of a feather, flock together), then he starts talking about his garden and how nice it is, he then asks me if I would change anything about the garden. So I start blagging at this point and pretending that I am all for the Nazis & Child Abuse and, cmon get me all joined up.

So we had a very long “masonic” chat for hours about how the world is, with regards to the Royal Family being a part of the Nazi Regime, but that they didn’t “actually really earn those medals”. The scale of the Satanic Abuse is worldwide and undercover in Schools, Hospitals and official organisations everywhere.

He urged me to join-up with the official PPG organisation, highlighting that it’s one of the places to enter the Satanic Abuse Network. But what he pointed out more than anything was that it’s absolutely everywhere, everywhere official and theres nothing I could do, he gloated all about it scolling the article at me to highlight all of the areas in the establishment which were on his side, he could see I was having difficulty in taking it all in and I think he got worried because at one point he asked me “do you know what this is” rolling his screwdriver by his chair.

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The masonic meaning of a long metal shaft is the sword which is part of the Freemason Death Threat every new initiate takes as a vow to never tell!

It was highlighted again after me showing obvious signs of not being so “warm” in masonic conversation.

From now on he was a different man to the “Granddad” I thought I knew for 43 years. He started making derogatory sexual remarks about his carers because they wouldn’t “oblige”.

He basically would always bring conversations back to having references to doing sexual things. By using odd words and phrases, Bums, bottoms, whoopie pants, there all the same when you stand them on their heads, feeling a little dicke, Burning bottoms. It’s all done in the spoken word and and for some reason it doesn’t even sound out of context?

Its more like an insinuation but never announced up front. It’s a way of talking out loud about the “BIG SECRET” without ever being understood by those who don’t know. In a “Nudge, nudge, if you know what I mean” kinda way.


4th July 2015

Ok a lot has transpired, Gramps is encouraging me to join certain organisations such as being a  PPG by joining NAPP. From the way he way talking (masonic style) he hinted that NAPP is an organisations I can approach in order to gain access to abuse children.

He suggested I change the word “patients” with the word “customers” when thinking of producing an organisation of my own.

This was all communicated along with “gentle” reminders of the death threat, highlighting the screwdriver.



I was getting annoyed at the pressure to “join” and the whole of my current situation, so I tried to shake the freemason tree on Facebook by posting a statement about who Gramps is, that he had access to the Hansards reports and that I’m thinking of joining the freemasons. One of Lee Evans’ friends posted a comment to “Rule one lee don’t tell anyone” which is pretty stupid it seems. I went to to ask why Allen why Lee shouldn’t and he replied he was just joking, I then had quite a few of Lee’s friends give rave reviews of the freemasons.

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My thinking is that as Gramps had access to all of the discussions in westminster for decades that his job would be to manipulate world affairs, and the coded discussions he has had with Graham only leads me to think that he is at the top of the illuminate and receiving info through family members… The all seeing one eye. I will pressure this as a lead as to who he is.

He has also strongly hinted that he is a Nazi and “we” are working for “the regime” which is believable because according to the story we all know, he was injured in his tank in WW2 and when the Gremans found him they bandaged him up, gave him some cognac and left him to be picked up by the British Allies!!! I’m thinking that only a high ranking freemason could accomplish this.

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